If you’ve been around my blog then you know I’m all about body confidence no matter what your size is.
I’m also all about embracing your body and learning to appreciate what you have right now, not what you hope to obtain in the future.
This includes believing when someone else says
“Damn woman you are fine!”
When you are a plus size woman hearing that your first thought is always going to be
He’s joking with me. Someone must have dared him to say that.
Which is sad but true.
When it seems as though he isn’t being put up to it the next thought is,
He must be one of those guys with a fat fetish or he’s a chubby chaser.
Why do we think like this?
What is the difference between a fetish and a personal preference?
When you really sit down and analyze this there is no difference.
When a man says “Damn woman you are fine!” to a tall, tanned, skinny blond woman do we think he must have a barbie fetish or that he’s a skinny chaser?
No, we don’t.
So why do we automatically think this way when the woman is fat?
It’s because we are all taught that being fat equals something disgusting.
If someone is attracted to someone else that happens to be fat then their preference is abnormal therefore that person has a fat fetish.
Please. That’s just lazy thinking. Lazy and destructive.
What one person might view as a fetish another person might view as a normal desire.
Yes, there are sexual preferences that will seem unusual, bizarre, mind boggling, scary and even disgusting to you but that’s just your opinion. To someone else it’s just normal.
We are all different.
We all have desires and attractions that do not fit society’s mold.
It might be something small or it might be something extreme but if we labeled every “abnormal” desire a fetish then we would technically all be fetishists which negates the term entirely.
Let’s look “fetish” up in the dictionary.
So basically, according to this definition on Dictionary.com every man that has a habitual erotic response to boobs has a fetish for boobs.
I don’t know about you but, I have a thing for thick necks and large rough hands on men.
All I have to do is look at them and I get aroused. Does this mean I have a neck and hand fetish or that my personal preference is men with thick necks and large hands?
Do you get where I’m going with this?
We need to stop thinking that fat people are undesirable just because society says so.
We are society.
If we want society to stop treating fatness as disgusting then we need to stop thinking and acting that way.
We also need to stop thinking that if someone is attracted to someone else because they are fat then that person is odd and has a fat fetish.
That person is not odd.
You can not control what attracts you physically or mentally but you can control how you handle that attraction.
Now, let’s move on to whether or not men who prefer truly plus size women actually exist.
Yes. Yes they do. 100%. Without a doubt.
You’re probably thinking, Where are they? If they truly exist why can’t I find them?
Here’s just a few reason why:
- You haven’t been looking. Meaning they are in your daily life but you haven’t noticed them.
- You’ve been “looking” but have a negative body image of yourself so you come off as angry or unhappy which is never appealing no matter what your body size is.
- You’ve been looking but the guys who have showed interest in you weren’t your type.
- You had guys who were your type approach you but you thought it was a joke and either dismissed it or were rude to them.
- You have guys who are attracted to you but are just friends with you because they are either afraid you will reject them or afraid that they will be made fun of by other people.
- You have guys who are attracted to you but have bought into the whole fat = disgusting mindset that they are freaked out by their attraction and either ignore you or are rude to you.
Once you learn that you don’t need to be a perfect size to be happy, or healthy or attractive a huge burden will be lifted from you.
You will find that you smile more, are happier and your body language will exude a feeling of confidence which is always sexy.
After you realize you are beautiful just the way you are the next step is to learn to accept compliments from others. Once you’ve accomplished that you will start to see people (both men and women) gravitate towards you.
Be open to it.
Don’t judge or second guess someone’s intentions.
Go with the flow and if you like the other person give them a shot.
However, listen to your instincts. If you feel uncomfortable around them, there’s usually a reason why.
Ok, so now that we know that these men do exist where can you find them?
Anywhere and Everywhere
Clear your mind, squash your self doubts, and open your eyes.
The next time you see someone you think you might be attracted to, smile!
A simple smile could be just the thing to give him the courage to come over and speak to you.
If clubs and group dating events aren’t your thing , where do you go to meet these men?
Well, what sort of things do you like to do?
- Do you like to read? Then hang out at all your local bookstores, coffee shops and libraries.
- Do you like shopping? Then hang out all your favorite malls and shops.
- Do you like watching movies? Then hang out at the movie theater or movie stores.
- Do you like art? Then hang out at art museums and local art galleries.
- Do you like to eat/cook? Take a cooking class or hang out at cooking supply stores.
Are you catching onto the theme here?
Think about what excites you and get out of the house and immerse yourself in that.
Chances are that the other people there like the same thing you do and if they are single you’re good to go!
If you still doubt that men who prefer plus size women exists and you are looking to pick the brain of a man who is openly attracted to plus size women or just belong to a community of open admirers of people of size try:
- Dimensions FA Forums – Where Big is Beautiful
- Club Ample Forums – Amplebeauties.com
- Big People UK
- Curvy Shrine
The following are a few online dating websites to try out:
- BB People Meet
- BBW Admire
- BBW Cupid
- BBW Date Club
- BBW Meet
- BBW Personal Plus
- BBW Relationships
- BBW Romance
- Curvy Date.co.uk
- Find My BBW
- Large and Lovely
- Large Couple
- Large Friends
- Large Passions
- Larger date.co.uk
- Loving BBW
- SSBBW Match
- SSBBW Mingle
If you still can’t believe that such men exist take some time to listen to MrAdamSir and his feeling on big beautiful women and his attraction to them.
Monday @ 9 am “How To Write The Perfect Villain We All Love To Hate“
Wednesday @ 9 am “The Most Popular Book Villains“
- Have you noticed a man who prefers plus size women (in real life, not just online)?
- Have you dated a plus size loving man?
- What are your thoughts on the stigmas that are placed on men who are attracted to plus size women?