Darla G. Denton | Author Platform Coach

Yes.

Appearance really does matter.

I know it sucks to say that and it shouldn’t be that way but it does.

If you think that you are the only person on earth who isn’t affected by appearance think again.

Think back to the last homeless person you saw. What if that “homeless person” wasn’t really homeless. What if he just dressed to look like that and your brain labeled him homeless because that’s how he looked.

Check out this video from ModelPrankstersTV “Does Appearance Change How People Are Treated”

 

We all do this.

We all make split second decisions based on how something or someone looks. It’s just how our brains are wired. 

However, just because that is human nature doesn’t mean you shouldn’t stop and think about it and treat each person with respect and kindness no matter what. 

Now let’s take it from the extreme to the every day.

Picture yourself at the mall walking along checking out some of the stores and doing a little bit of “people watching”. You see a person dressed in a white tank top, a thick gold chain, pants hanging off the butt and visible tattoos and you think “Thug” right? Well what if you saw the same man in a nice tailored suite? Do you still see him as a thug just dressed in a suite or a business man who takes pride in his appearance and who seems to have his life together?

Check out these eye opening photos that Joel Parés took for his series “Judging America“.

Society as a whole needs to learn to stop judging someone based on physical appearances. However, that hasn’t happened yet and I’m pretty sure it wont anytime soon.

So what does that mean? 

It means that if you want to be treated a certain way you need to dress the part. It’s shallow but it’s true.

• If you want to be seen as someone who’s life isn’t a mess then you can’t dress like a slob.
• If you want to be seen as a professional who would get hired at job interviews then you can’t go to the interview dressed like a thug or a biker or etc…
• If you want to be seen as someone who takes care of themselves then you cant walk around in dirty clothes and such.

We can’t control how people judge us but we can control who they see upon first impression.

In order to obtain what we want in life we have to actively reach for it. 

What do I mean?

You can’t walk around looking like a slob (no matter how comfortable that is) and expect people to take you seriously in the professional world. If you want a great job you need to dress for the part.

Now, let’s think of this on a more social level.

If you want to have a social life you need to dress like you care about yourself.

Now, you’re thinking, “If they are a true friend it wont matter what I look like.” 

And that is 100% true to a certain degree.

We all take our cues on how to treat someone by taking into account how they look at that moment, what their body language is saying and what they are verbally saying.

Do you feel like people ignore you or go out of their way to not interact with you?

Are people commenting that you look tired or asking if you’re sick when you aren’t? 

It’s all in your appearance and body language. 

I can tell you from personal experience that if I go through a day where I put no effort what so ever in my clothes or my hair or my makeup that I basically become a walking ghost where no one seems to notice me and the ones that do will always comment on how tired I look or ask if I was sick.

The same people that are friendly and interactive with me when I look good will barely talk to me on days where I’m looking like a slob. If they do they are usually abrupt about it.

I once asked a few “friends” why that was and they were honest and told me because I was harder to look at when I wasn’t “pretty” (I kid you not). So the logical way to look at this is that I needed better friends but in reality we all think like this in some degree.

These friends also mentioned that I looked angry when I didn’t take the time in my appearance, like I didn’t want people to talk to me.

It took a while for me to not be pissed about that but eventually I calmed down enough to really think it through.

Why is that when women go without makeup they give off the impression that they are angry or that they want to be left alone? 

I really thought long and hard and I realized that when I go out without putting any effort into my appearance I feel uncomfortable, awkward, self conscience, tired and yes even angry.

Why? 

I have no idea but I’m assuming since I’m feeling that way inside it’s showing outwardly as well.

What happens if I spend time on my appearance even though I’m angry and pissed off and go out in public?

Will I be treated the same as when I looked like a “slob”? 

Nope.

It seems that no matter how you feel inside, if your outward appearance shows positively that is usually how you are perceived.

The most surprising thing I found out was that after taking the time on my appearance and having good interactions with people my bad, pissy mood turned into a great mood where I felt friendly and dare I say it, even happy.

Have you noticed this about yourself?

We are all beautiful and deserve respect, kindness and love no matter what we look like. 

We don’t need makeup to look or feel beautiful BUT makeup does have an affect on how we are perceived.

You might hate makeup and you might not but you can’t deny the power it has to change your opinion about someone.

Check out Vadim Andreev’s Before and After Makeup Photos.

 

Pay attention to how you feel about each persons when you look at their “before” image vs their “after”.

It’s pretty different isn’t it.

It’s amazing really, how something so visual affects everything we think, feel, and observe about someone else.

You do not need to have the best clothes, the best hair or the best makeup to be worth someone’s time, attention, kindness and love. 

However, don’t expect society to see you as one way when you look and dress another.

Go for what you want out of life.

Do everything in your power to make your dreams happen, including paying attention to your appearance in some form or another.

If you want society to stop judging on based on appearances then think twice before judging someone else on theirs.  Encourage others to do the same. Eventually we might all get to a point where it wont matter how we are dressed.

Monday @ 9 am “How To Craft The Perfect Plus Size Heroine”

Wednesday @ 9 am “Awesome Plus Size Book Heroines You Need To Check Out” 

• How did you feel when you watched the video and check out the pictures on appearance?
• Do you notice yourself making snap judgements based on appearances?
• Have you noticed being treated differently based on how you look?
• Do you feel better about yourself when you take time to do your hair and makeup?