How Race and Ethnic Heritage Influence Body Acceptance


How Race & Ethnic Heritage Influence Body Acceptance

Is it easier to be fat depending on what race you are?

I’ve wondered about this most of my life.

I have friends of pretty much all races and ethnic backgrounds and I noticed from a very young age how certain ethnic backgrounds had less stigma over being fat.

Sure, there is always the “you need to loose weight because you look unhealthy” argument on all sides but it seemed to me that with certain races there was less pressure to be skinny.

I would envy my African American and Hispanic friends because it seemed that no matter what size their tag said or what numbers showed up on the scale they were happier and more confident with their bodies and their sexuality. When I would hang out at their house I felt like their families didn’t care so much about diets and the perfect body size and I was jealous that they got to live more carefree happy lives.

The friends I had who were white or grew up with a European, White American or Asian background were the ones who were constantly belittling their own bodies, starving themselves to obtain the “perfect size” and pressuring me to be skinny with them.

Now, I know that not all white/European/Asian people are fat phobic, just like I know that not all African American/Hispanic/Pacific Islanders are comfortable with their bodies no matter the size.

It all really comes down to the individual and the family they were brought up with.

But, as a society I feel like their is more pressure to have the perfect body or be the perfect weight depending on what race or ethnic background surrounds you.

I am Native American with German mixed in. I grew up in two households (because my parents were divorced).

  • The first household was German/Polish American. In this household we ate what we wanted but we would beat ourselves up about it afterwards. There was always someone on a diet and no one was happy with their bodies. No one. There was hardly ever any “talking” about body issues going on but there was a lot of jokes and ridicule snuck in with sarcastic comments.
  • The 2nd household was Native American/Pacific Islander/Asian. In this household you were ridiculed for eating “fattening” foods. The amount of food on your plate (whether it was healthy or not) was judged and if it was shown to be more then what was deemed “appropriate” you were scolded. There was never anyone on a diet but if your stomach was too big to see your toes when you stood straight and looked down then you were labeled fat and unhealthy. If you were given that label then the other people in the family (no matter their size) felt it was their right to constantly comment, judge and even make fun of you to pressure you to loose wait.

Neither or these household celebrated the body in general.

No one talked about what it meant to actually be healthy.

I grew up feeling as though my body was something to be ashamed of. That, because I was fat, I could not be happy with myself, I was lazy and unhealthy and that until I was skinny no one would even want to touch me (hugs, holding hands, etc…).

I realized that my body, my size, made the people I was close to feel uncomfortable and unhappy.

I hated myself and I felt like my body was a prison.

Then at the age of 16 I got my first job (a laboratory associate at my local hospital) and my eyes were opened up. I was no longer sheltered among my family.

Through this time I met so many different people of all races and ethnic backgrounds. I gained so many dear friends that to this day I still think of fondly though we have all lost touch.  My new friends ranged in size from very skinny to very fat and everything in between.

Sure there were still those that felt uncomfortable with themselves, those that were on perpetual diets, but there were also those who seemed to enjoy the skin they lived in, who looked comfortable expressing themselves with their body and their actions.

I remember the first time I realized people like that existed. I would catch myself just starring at them in awe. It was such a shockingly new concept to me to be happy with your body no matter what it looked it.

Little by little those friends helped me escape my prison. They showed me that I was actually beautiful. That I was worthy of someone’s love and praise even though I was not skinny. They taught me that I didn’t have to wait to be happy just because my scale showed me weighing more then society felt I should.

These were extremely hard lessons to learn and from time to time I still forget them.

However, I am FOREVER grateful to them for showing me another way to live and look at my body.

One friend in general is always on my mind when I think of body acceptance.

Her name is Daisy and she was an amazing person. She was always happy and cheerful even when she was having a bad day. Her smile was the kind of smile that lit up her eyes and everyone around her. She had Puerto Rican heritage so her skin had an olive complexion and her eyes sparkled with blues and greens. She was plus size (I would guess around 220) and average height (5’7-5’9). She had short curly hair that was always silky and springy.

I envied her so much!

We mimicked each other in so many things looks wise. We both had the olive complexion, we both had black curly hair, we were both the same height and size but when you looked at us there was a vast difference.Be Obsessed with Body Acceptance

You could tell she was happy and confident and because of that she radiated beauty.

I was unhappy, I had no self confidence and because of that I radiated dullness and insecurity.

Over breaks we would sit and chat and it was through her eyes that I started to see myself and my body for who I truly was.  She helped me overcome all those fat phobic barriers in my mind. She taught me to ignore the scale and to just listen to my body.

In all honesty she is the reason I am who I am today.

She was such a big influence on me and brought me so much happiness that when I had my daughter I named her Daisy in hopes that she would grow up to just like her.

Let's Chat Graphic

  • What are your thoughts on this subject? 
  • Do you feel it’s easier to be fat depending on what race or ethnic background you have?
  • Would you like to share what it was like for you growing up?

Stay Tuned

 

Monday9amExercises and Apps That Help Keep Writers Healthy

Wednesday @ 9am Reading to Exercise The Mind

African American Romance Reads of the Curvy Persuasion


13 Curvy African American Romance Reads

Monday I talked about the difficulties African American Authors face in the romance genre. If you missed it, check it out: Diversity In Romance.

Today I want to give some book suggestions of the curvy African American persuasion. I hope you all enjoy them.

This was a bigger ordeal then I anticipated. Although, I should have expected it considering the mess that it is to shelve and find African American Romances.

If you see one missing that you think should be included leave a comment below.

If you see a book that I listed and the heroine is not a Curvy or Plus size African American please let me know.

This list would not have been possible without the help of a wonderful group of Romance readers on Facebook called Curvy Girl Romances: For Readers Who Love Alpha Heroes and Curvy Heroines. If you’ve got a type of book you are looking for, just ask it and will receive numerous answers that are always on point! I highly recommend joining this group.

Curvy African American Romance/Erotica Reads

Leila Lacey 

Sydney Addae

Pepper Pace

Brenda Stokes Lee

Lena Skye

Stella Eromonsere-Ajanaku

Nia Green

Violet Jackson

Esther Banks

Stay Tuned

Friday @ 9amIs It Easier For One Race To Be Fat Compared To Another?”

Monday @ 9amExercises and Apps to Help Keep Writers Healthy

 

  • Have you read any Curvy African American Romances you would like to share?
  • Have you read any of the stories listed above? If so, give us your opinion!Let's Chat Graphic

Diversity in Romance. Does that even exist?


Diversity In Romance

Today is Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

In honor of such I wanted to talk about a topic that, though talked about before, does not get nearly enough attention.

However, before I get to that, let’s take a moment to learn about and refresh our memory of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

If you would like to know a bit more, here are two other websites/articles to check out.

Now, I’m not a veritable fountain of knowledge when it comes to civil rights. I know what I know from school and from documentaries and books. I’m not here to debate the significance of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr or the rumors of his character.

What I am here to talk about is African American Authors in the Romance genre.

Like most of you know, though I’ve been an avid reader most of my life, I’ve only been delving into the writing world for about a year or so.

During this time of discovery I have found out many things I did not know but nothing quite as surprising as the difficulties that African American Authors face when trying to write and publish in the romance genre.

It was this fateful podcast from Smart Bitches Trashy Books  with Farrah Rochon that opened my eyes.  Take a moment and listen….

Podcast Transcript 94: An Interview with Farrah Rochon

This was the first podcast from the Smart Bitches website I listened to and boy was I in love! I don’t know what made me click on it but I’m so happy that I did.

I’ve been reading romance since I was a teenager. Those first few books were limited to what my mother had stashed in her closet but as I grew older and bolder I started looking for some on my own.

Before learning about the romance world through the eyes of a writer I was pretty clueless to all the different sub genres and special lines that publishing houses had. Matter of fact I was ignorant on even the names of publishing houses as well. Except for Harlequin.

When I walked into a book store searching for Romance I went straight to the romance section and browsed the titles displayed on the shelf. I never thought that somewhere else in the store were more romance books shelved as something else.

I did know that there were romance books that had people of other races and colors in it but I had never seen one in person or even read one myself. Crazy right?

It’s not because I didn’t want to or that I was actively ignoring them. It was based solely on the fact that I never ran across them on the bookshelves in the romance section.

About 5 years ago I started actively searching for books online (I was a die hard bookstore girl) and was overwhelmed with all the options and sub genres for romance. I kept thinking to myself, “Why do I not see this in my local book store?

Little by little I started ordering more from online sources. I felt bad for it because I loved my bookstores but I had such a need for a wide variety of stories that I just wasn’t finding in person.

So, as the years went on I was introduced to the world of paranormal romance, sci-fi romance, erotica, etc…. things that I wasn’t ever finding out in the real world. I saw the African American section of romance online but I never clicked on it because, and this feels really weird to type, but I felt as though that was not for me. Have you or do you currently feel that way too?

Now, I’m not a white person but I’m not a black person either. I’m Native American. And though I know what it feels like to “not be white” I still felt that because it was sectioned as African American Romance it was romance written only for African Americans. I felt like I would not find the same kind of enjoyment in it. Almost like it was a part of the romance world I was not allowed to enter….

Now, that being said, if I saw a book in the other sub genres that happened to have an African American character as the Heroine or Hero I did not feel the same way. Weird right? It was almost like, since the book was in a sub genre that focused on the type of book it was instead of what races were used I felt more welcome to read it. Why is that?

I never really gave it much thought until I started writing my own romances with characters from different races. When I stumbled onto the podcast interview with Farrah it was like fate. I had so many questions as to why, as a reader I had limited myself so much when as a writer I felt free to portray other races.

Then I heard Sarah say this in the podcast:

“…that something that has people of color on it is not for me. Not because it’s, you know, less or it’s, you know, I am superior and that is lesser. It is, it is inappropriate for me to read that. That is not for me, and that is not a place where I am even welcome. Like, I have internalized that message, and then I was like, well, I feel really fucking stupid now. Shit! How do I undo this?

I sat there with a shocked expression on my face thinking, “Oh My God. This is what I’ve been realizing with myself! I can’t believe someone else out there felt this way too.”

No matter what races are used in a romance book it should be enjoyed by all.

Everyone should feel free to read whatever catches their fancy. 

However, the first hurdle of that mindset to overcome is that, though something might be categorized as African American or located in the African American Literature section it is meant for everyone to enjoy, for everyone to read. We need to tare down the segregational walls we have inherited in our subconscious and explore all the different cultures and races in fiction and non fiction. Do you agree?

But how do we go about doing this? Do we get rid of sub genres all together?

I’ve heard some African American romance readers say that they don’t click on the African American category online because the results are too general. They can’t find the “type” of romance they like to read.

So, then, would it be best if there was no African American section?

Some say no because their sole desire is to read romances with only African Americans in it and that is the easiest way to find it. While others, who look for their romances in book stores feel that it would be best to shelve all romances together because they feel out of place looking in the African American Literature section.

Then there is the problem of publication. Half of the time, books that have African Americans as their Heroes or Heroines will not portray that on their cover. They will have a picture of scenery, or objects but nothing in regards to what the people look like in the story. Why?

Before I listened to the podcast I never thought about it. But afterwards I couldn’t help but go over my own experience with covers as a reader.

I found that I gravitated more to covers that had scenes or objects and chose the books that had an interesting title.

The covers that had people depicted on it never influenced my decision but I realized that when the people were absent I was more likely to choose it. Is it because I liked not knowing? Or because I like drawing my own picture of the characters in me head? If the book had only African American people on it would I feel like it was not for me?

As if all these questions aren’t difficult enough we have African American authors who wont even include their photo on their books for fear of a reader passing their story over based solely on the authors color.

I have never chosen a book based on what the author looked like. Matter of fact, who the author is is the last thing I ever look at. I don’t even care really unless the book was really good. Then I will look at the picture of the author and the author bio before searching for more of their work. Do author pictures ever influence your decision to read a book?

After listening to Farrah talk about her publishing experiences, all the hurdles she has had to go through and the difficulties of where her book will be shelved in the end, it really opened up my eyes to the hardships of being an African American Author who writes African American Romances.

Sure, it’s better then it was a decade ago but as many have said before me…..”We still have a long way to go…

What are your thoughts on this?

 Listed below are just a few of the African American Romance Authors that so many have enjoyed. Check out a few and broaden your enjoyment of Romance.

Stay Tuned

Wednesday @ 9amCurvy Romances with African American Heroines

Friday @ 9amIs It Easier For One Race To Be Fat Compared To Another?”

Let's Chat Graphic

Body Love Mantra’s, Personal Goals & Self Help Books


Body Love Mantras Personal Goals and Self Help Books

Every time a new year rolls around, we can’t help but look back at what we did and didn’t accomplish and what we wish we to accomplish in the future.

We do this with our work, our hobbies and our personal lives.

For the majority of us it seems as though we look back and instead of focusing on the good things that happened, we obsess over the things we see as failures.

I admit that I am one of those people.

Even though I accomplished so much in regards to writing my book, starting a website, and publishing over 100 blog articles last year, all I really seem to focus on is the lack of time I spent with my husband and kids, the lack of money I contributed to the family and the lack of exercise I’ve had since I injured my knee.

Focusing on the negative gets me no closer to the positive things I am striving for.

So, with that in mind my ultimate goal personally and professionally is to be positive. Positive with my work, my life, myself and with others as well.

There is enough negativity in this world already. I don’t need to add to it.

Keeping that in mind here are My Personal Goals for 2015

  1. To Accept Love and Appreciate my bodyBody Love Mantra
  2. To surround myself with the ones I love
  3. To be more active
  4. To break out of my “introvert shell” (at least a little bit)
  5. To Smile More

When I say “to smile more”, I don’t mean I want to  be happier (which I do), I literally mean need to smile more. Apparently I have a condition, a common one that affects many of us, called Resting Bitch Face.

Resting Bitch Face

I could be feeling all happy, warm and fuzzy on the inside with not a care in the world but on the outside I look like I’m having the worst day of my life. I won’t even know it either. When I think I’m smiling and looking happy people think I’m frowning and ask me, “What’s wrong?” I always have to reply, “Im fine…. This is just my face.”  :-/

 

Do you suffer from this as well?

For those of you who like to get your daily dose of positivity through books, here are a list of 8 that I will be reading this year through the Avid Readers Challenge 2015.

  1. Lesson’s From the Fat-o-sphere: Quit Dieting and Declare a Truce With Your Body by Kate Harding
  2. Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love & Fashion by Virgie Tovar
  3. Health At Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight by Linda Bacon
  4. The Unapologetic Fat Girls Guide to Exercise and Other Incendiary Acts by Hanne Blank
  5. Big Big Love: A Sourcebook on Sex for People of Size and Those Who Love Them by Hanne Blank
  6. What’s Wrong With Fat by Abigail Saguy
  7. Beautiful You by Rosie Molinary
  8. Confessions of a Fat Marathoner by Kristina Burkey

Stay Tuned

 

Monday @ 9amHonoring Martin Luther King & Shedding Some Light on African American’s in Romance”

Wednesday @  “A List of Curvy Romances with African American Heroes & Heroines” Let's Chat Graphic

  • Do you make personal goals each year?
  • If so, what are they? 
  • Do you tips, suggestions, stories, books websites or blogs you want to share that will help with body confidence?

Reading Challenges & One Library App To Rule Them All!


The Best Reading Challenges of 2015

It’s a new year and that means time for a new reading challenge …. or two ;-)

I love reading challenges. Not because I finish them and have a sense of accomplishment… Oh no. That would be silly. No, I love taking part in reading challenges because it helps me narrow down my choices. See, without a guideline to choose from I will literally stand in an isle of books and want to read them all! It’s pathetic really.

So, I use book challenges as a way to help me narrow my focus and give me suggestions on what to read next. I rarely ever complete the challenges but I sure do love starting them.

This year, instead of taking part in a global challenge, I decided to make my own.

 

Challenge #1: The Ultimate Reading Challenge for Romance ReadersThe

With this challenge I wanted to broaden my experience in the romance genre.

Usually I stick to Paranormal Romance and Romantic Suspense with some Erotic Romances thrown in for spice ;-)

Though I’ve been devouring romance novels since I was a teenager, there are sub-genres I’ve never even laid eyes on.

Like, for instance, African American Romances and Gothic Romances. I’ve never even read a Holiday Romance which is just plain wrong!

So, this year I am going to right that wrong and read them all! Anyone with me???

Basically, what I want to do is choose a different story form each time I choose a sub-genre to read from. I also want to pick a book from a New Author and a book from a Popular Author from each sub-genre as well. If you are having a hard time find a New Author then just pick an author that is new to you.

Since we all know how important reviews are for authors I also want to leave an honest review for each book I’ve read.

If you want to participate then save the infographic I made above for reference. Also, feel free to invite anyone you want. The more the merrier!

You can see the books that I have chosen, track my progress and see my reviews through my Goodreads Shelf : Romance Reader Challenge 2015.

 

Challenge #2: The Most Epic Reading Challenge for Avid Readers

The Most Epic Reading Challenge of 2015I love books.

All books.

Yet, when I go to read a book I reach for the same type of book over and over and over again.

I call myself an Avid Reader but I only avidly read one or two genres throughout the year.

This year I want to rectify that. I want to read a book from every category in the Amazon book section. EVERY Category!! (except Calendars and Children’s Books)

I know it sounds kind of crazy but in the end I think it will be a lot of fun.

Who knows I might find a new favorite genre out of this!

What I’m hoping to do is choose a different form of literature with each book. I also want to alternate between Fiction and Non-Fiction. Then I want to browes each category until I find a book that sounds interesting.

I can take the category as literal or vague as I want.

What do I mean by that?

Well let’s say I want to find a Non-Fiction Novel in the Art Category. Then maybe I will look for art books that focus on Body Acceptance…etc…

I want to have some fun with this challenge and see what gems I can uncover.

Are you with me???

If you want to participate then save the infographic I made above for reference. Also, feel free to invite anyone you want. The more the merrier!

You can see the books that I have chosen, track my progress and see my reviews through my Goodreads Shelf : Avid Reader Challenge 2015.

Stay Tuned

Friday @ 9amMantras, Personal Goals and Self Help Books to make 2015 One Hell Of a Year

Monday @ 9amHonoring Martin Luther King & Shedding Some Light on African American’s in Romance”

  • Do you like to have reading goals? Let's Chat Graphic
  • Have you ever completed a reading challenge?
  • What do you think of the books I’ve decided to read for my challenges?

Writing Goals, Desires of Organization and the Devices That Make It Possible


It’s a new year so that means a new list of writing goals.

My Top Five Writing Goals for 2015

My top 5 Writing Goals for 2015

  1. Finish polishing up Destiny Be Damned
  2. Enter into at least 1 writing competition
  3. Put feelers out for Literary Agents/Publishers
  4. Start writing holiday pieces and short stories
  5. Find a paying online writing gig

I’ve got some pretty lofty goals but I’m sure I can manage at least one or two of them!

However, I won’t get anything accomplished unless I stay organized.

Are you one of those people who cringe at the idea of organizing your writing tasks or draw a blank when you try to begin?

Don’t feel bad. We all struggle with it at some point.

Listed below are some simple techniques to help you out.

(Beware: These are common sense techniques that will cause you to bang your head on your desk for not doing them already. I’m saying this from experience)

  1. Create a writing schedule that is realistic to your situation. Carving out writing time won’t happen on its own. You have to make it a reality. Once you make writing a daily routine you will be surprised at how much you get done.
  2. Set time aside for social media. We all know how important creating and maintaining an author platform is but too often than not we let it take over. Designating a certain time every day to check your social media, comment, share or respond will go a long way in making sure you are staying connected without it eating up your writing time.
  3. Break up your larger writing tasks into smaller more manageable pieces so that you do not become overwhelmed.
  4. Create deadlines for things that don’t already have one. I know, we all hate deadlines but by making a deadline you are giving yourself a chance to see an end date for that piece. It gives you something to work toward. If you end up completing it on or before your deadline reward yourself.
  5. Create daily to do lists. If you need the motivation of checking things off include mundane tasks that you have no choice but to accomplish (like waking up and eating lol) Creating daily to-do lists will help you organize your thoughts so you have less moments where you are just staring at a blank screen trying to remember what you need to be doing next.
  6. Learn to love sticky notes. For those who need clean lines and simplistic spaces sticky notes are utter chaos but they serve a very important purpose, “Forget-me-nots”. They are a means to quickly jot down something you need to remember and be able to stick it somewhere at eye level. Hours or even days later your eyes will land on that brightly colored note and it’ll be like a light bulb turned on above your head “Oh yeah…. I forgot about that.”
  7. Do you deal with a lot of articles and snippets of info from the internet? If so, find a content feeder that suites your needs and learn to click all the articles you want to save and read later, share, or use in a piece. It’s an absolute life saver. I can’t tell you how many articles I lost saving links to computer folders.
  8. Join Social Media groups that are trying to accomplish the same thing you are. You’ll find that half the time they are your biggest cheerleaders/supporters and almost every writer I know is more than willing to share their experience, tips, and tricks with you. By being a part of a group you learn things you didn’t know you needed to know and more often than not you hear about opportunities that would have slid past you if you were going at it alone.

For the more tech-minded people (like myself) who feel you can’t be productive without a snazzy app, check out this great infographic I found that not only lists 44 of them but breaks them up into categories and gives you the pros and cons of each one.

44 Apps To Make You More Productive

Stay Tuned

Wednesday @ 9amReading Challenges and One Library App to rule them all!”

Friday @ 9amMantras, Personal Goals and Self Help Books to make 2015 One Hell Of a Year

Let's Chat Graphic

  • What are your writing goals for 2015?

 

  • Do you have any Productivity or Organizational tools and tips you want to share?

Top 10 Most Popular Blog Posts about The Curvy Life


Top 10 Most Popular Blog Posts About The Curvy Life

Welcome to 2015 my curvy plus sized ladies!

Thank You To My Followers 2014 was a great year for Musings from a Curvy  Romance Writer and  though #curvylife was a new  feature added towards the end of the year it is  quickly  becoming my favorite and that’s all thanks to you!

 

Listed below are:

My Top 10 Most Popular Blog Posts about The Curvy Life

  1. Curvy Heroines and The Women Who Read Them
  2. 30 Curvy Body Acceptance WebsitesThat Will Help Build Confidence
  3. #ImEnough & Thanks To The Mrs. I Have An Anthem To Prove It!
  4. If Not Me, Who? If Not Now, When?
  5. You Want Me To Do What?!
  6. Shell Shocked: The Life of a Mother With A Teenage Daughter
  7. Summer Fun and Then Some
  8. From The Heart Of A Child
  9. Make It Stop
  10. How Did I Ever Function Without This?

Stay Tuned

Monday at 9am: “Writing Goals, Desires of Organization and the Devices That Make It Possible”

Wednesday at 9am: “Reading Goals & The Tools To Help You Achieve Them”

Let's Chat Graphic

  • Which article of mine from 2014 did you enjoy the most or find the most helpful?
  • What do you hope I write about in 2015?

 

Don’t forget! To find more of my articles on living a plus sized curvy life search my archives, follow me on social media or look for #curvyliving 

Top 10 Most Popular Blog Posts for Avid Readers


Top 10 Most Popular Blog Posts For Avid Readers

Welcome to 2015 my fellow avid romance readers!

2014 was a great year for Musings from a Curvy Romance Writer and it wouldn’t have been so without you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Thank You To My Followers

Listed below are:

My Top 10 Most Popular Blog Posts about Reading

 

  1. Have You Wasted Hundreds of Dollars on Kindle Books?
  2. There’s An App For That…
  3. 14 Websites That Will Help You Find Your New Favorite Book!
  4. 2014 RITA Winners and Their Award Winning Books
  5. 48 Celebrities Who Wrote Fiction…Who Knew!?
  6. Romance Book Review Websites
  7. David Tennant Melts The Hearts of Shakespeare Fans
  8. Levar Burton Breaks Down Twitter, Reading Rainbow Style!
  9. Destiny Be Damned
  10. 4 Questions + 4 Answers = My What, How and Why

 Stay Tuned

Friday at 9am: “The Top 10 Most Popular Blog Posts About Living the Curvy Life

Monday at 9am: “Writing Goals, Desires of Organization and the Devices That Make It Possible”

Let's Chat GraphicWhich article of mine from 2014 did you enjoy the most or find the most helpful?

What do you hope I write about in 2015?

 

Don’t forget! To find more of my articles geared toward readers search my archives, follow me on social media or look for #curvyreader 

The Top 10 Most Popular Blog Posts About Writing


It’s 2015!

Let’s kick it off with The Top 10 Most Popular Blog Posts About Writing in 2014.

The Top 10 Most Popular Blog Posts About Writing

2014 was Musings from a Curvy Romance Writer’s first full year in operation and it was a wildly exciting ride!

I’m so happy I took the leap and started blogging.

Thank you all for being a part of it!

Thank You To My Followers

 Before we get to the nitty-gritty let’s check out how my first year of blogging and running a website went.

I went live on November 2013 on a whim with guidance from “New Author Publishing” by Gary Wolfe . If you have yet to start a blog/website of your own I would highly recommend checking out his YouTube Video Series.

In 2014 my blog was viewed 37,000 times from people in 150 countries! I’m so excited by that! It might be a low number to some but to this newbie it’s amazing. I even rank on the Alexa website!

I made a total of 94 posts that have been shared through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Tumblr. I hope to have a larger total by the end of 2015.

The websites that have referred the most people to me are:

The people who have shown me the most love by leaving lots of comments are:

Thank you guys so much for taking time out of your busy days and nights to leave comments, chat with me and help guide me through my first year of writing.

If you haven’t already, please take a moment to check out their websites and blogs. I promise you will not be disappointed.

Now, onto the good stuff!

My Top 10 Most Popular Blog Posts about Writing!

  1. 35 Random Idea Generators for Writing A Romance Novel
  2. Did You Know You Can Print On Index Cards???
  3. 54 Literary Agents Accepting Romance & Erotic Submissions
  4. How To Outline Your Novel With a Bulletin Board
  5. Part 2: How to Outline Your Novel With a Bulletin Board
  6. 5 Easy Steps to Creating A Social Media Posting Schedule for Writers
  7. A Writer’s Weekly Schedule
  8. A Writers Notebook
  9. How Do You Know You’re Being Scammed
  10. The Ultimate List of Mobile Apps for Writers with Androids

Once again Thank You for making 2014 an awesome year!

Stay Tuned

Wendesday at 9am : “The Top 10 Most Popular Blog Posts for Avid Readers

Friday at 9am: “The Top 10 Most Popular Blog Posts about the Curvy Life

Let's Chat Graphic

  • Which article of mine from 2014 did you enjoy the most or find the most helpful?
  • What do you hope I write about in 2015?

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Dealing With Writer’s Guilt…


These past few days have been a blur of activity for me around my house.

Without going into the boring specifics I’ll just say that..

“Life always seems to pile on more things that need to get done while giving you less time to do it all in.” 

Unfortunately, and predictably, my writing has suffered.

Not just my writing for my blog (hence the absence of a blog post Friday and Monday) but for my book as well.

When that happens I get an overwhelming feeling of regret, guilt and frustration. It never fails…

I lovingly refer to this as “Writers Guilt”.

Does this happen to you too?

 

When I’m trudging through the tasks that keep me from writing I can’t help but think about what I should be doing instead.

The irony in that, though, is that when I do sit down and finally write there is a nagging little voice that whispers in the back of my brain,

“You should be cleaning, you should be spending more time with the kids, you should be ……”

You get the idea.

I want nothing more then to put a sign on my door stating “Mom no longer exists. Go Away!” then lock myself in with a pot of coffee and just binge write.

Even though life takes me away from writing, my brain never stops piecing the story together.

It is constantly coming up with edits I think would work best, lines and scenes that I feel I should write out, etc…

It screams…. WRITE over and over until I give in and write or I blow up with frustration.

This is either a common problem for writers or I’m finally going nuts….

 

I’m sure you’ve all been there….done that…. and so forth right?? ;-)

It gets to the point where I will randomly stop doing whatever I was doing and stare off into space like I’m a resident at some loony bin because my brain has literally taken siege of my body and is forcing me to watch the scene it’s been screaming at me to write.

When that happens my husband usually shakes me out of it and tells me to go write lol but I rarely listen.

I’m stubborn like that.

I’ve always daydreamed. I think it’s sort of a requirement of creative people. Our brains just take over and all we can do is sit and watch it unfold. Some of my best ideas have come from these daydreams.

However, since I’ve taken my writing from a hobby to an actual goal these “daydreams” have become frequent and persistent.

I can’t possibly write as much as my brain wants me too.

Life just wont allow it. So what can I do to limit these “loony bin” moments?

I’ve been thinking about it and I’ve come to this conclusion….. I have no freaking idea!

I’m open to suggestions, advice, and/or just support in our mutual writing problems. 

I did do some research on it, because, well, you know me… I love research.  ;-) and I found the following tips:

  1. Wake up an hour before you would normally wake up or go to sleep an hour later then you would normally go to sleep to slip in extra writing time. (I am not capable of waking up an hour before I need to. I can barely get myself out of bed when my alarm goes off…for the 5th time. The only thing that gets me up is the reality that my kids are going to be late if I lay there one minute longer.)
  2. Keep a notebook and pen with you to write down any and all ideas that come along throughout the day. (I actually do this and it does help but obviously not enough to keep me from feeling insane.)
  3. Use your smart phone instead of a notebook to jot down your ideas. (I’ve also tried this and well, I think much faster then I can text so it ends up just getting me frustrated. I’ve  also tried doing an audio recording of my ideas but unless I’m completely alone I feel way too self conscience to do that. Can you imagine waiting in line at the post office and talking out ideas for a sex scene! lol Oh the humility!)
  4. While at work during your lunch break or a slow period write out scenes in a personal email account and send it back to yourself. (This is doable as long as you remember to send this email through your personal email account and not the work account….. That would be bad folks.)
  5.  Make a schedule and stick to it. Carve out time to write, free of distractions. (I’ve done this as well and schedules are nice to have but life likes to screw with them, a lot. I rarely get through a day without something deviating me from it.)
  6. Quit your complaining and just write! (I have a feeling this is the best advice.)

Life will never be perfect.

There will never be an ideal time or situation to write that book.

You just have to suck it up and write.

Write in chaos, write in solitude, write while dead tired, or while bored waiting in line.

JUST WRITE!

I’ve decided after writing out this blog post (By the way, this was very therapeutic. Thanks for being my psychiatrist for the day) that I’m going to print out these pictures I just created in Picmonkey, put them in some nice dollar store frames lol and place them throughout my house.

The idea is, my eyes will land on one throughout the day and it will hopefully encourage me to go and write.

You Should Be Writing

Quit Making Excuses and Just Write

Life Will Not End If You Stop and Write

The Dishes Can Wait Go Write

It's Ok To Say NO

Forget Clean Clothes...